Day One: Cloudy
Breakfast: Two large pots of black coffee, strawberry jam, and delicious plain croissants, chocolate croissants, and apricot pastries that Teacher Meher specifically drove to a nearby bakery early in the morning to buy.
Many parents want to educate their children well, but they themselves may lack something consistent to balance and practice in life. If not, they might be too lenient or too strict. How to balance leniency and strictness in educating children actually comes back to the parents’ own cultivation. Only by first balancing ourselves, maintaining appropriate tension and relaxation, can we achieve balance in education and companionship.
My view is that “children” as a species are, in my opinion, a kind of life form with a very short memory, like fish, and difficult to grasp. Every day, we need to repeatedly give some instructions to help them develop good habits. At the same time, we must not be too controlling, as this would stifle their space for free breathing. So, in the end, educating children seems to become a lesson on how to become a parent with good balance, haha.

Facing the child in front of you, maintaining a state of presence and appropriate tension and relaxation is not easy. Every day requires patience to repeat, while also restraining oneself (from losing temper), mainly to protect your own liver. Observing and allowing small mistakes or necessary nagging and scolding when principles are touched are very energy-consuming. For example, after a tiring day, you want to relax and lie on the couch browsing your phone. However, the child may still need your presence. Being “present” and “not present” makes a fundamental difference. Your level of attention needs to be balanced, neither too much nor too little. You need to give enough free space but also clearly explain the rules in advance. The most important point is that parents need to be aware of their behavior and language. Even before scolding the child, you need to think carefully whether it’s purely for venting your own anger or for the child’s growth.
To reach the state of flowing and effortless control here is impressive. (I am still savoring and learning, clearly not skilled enough, often getting angry to the point of liver pain.)

School, Rules, Tension and Relaxation
This brings up the topic of “rules.” During the conversation with Teacher Meher, she gave examples of what a good school looks like: providing children with a free learning space and atmosphere, while also allowing them to conduct th
eir daily study life within limited rules. This reminded me of the famous Chinese “Zhuzi Family Rules”: “Rise at dawn, sweep the courtyard, keep inside and outside clean…”
Teacher Meher said: A balanced school style is neither unlimited indulgence nor mechanical suppression. It allows children to freely choose what they want to learn, then provides materials to match these choices. Children have a lot of space to choose the items, books, pens, paper, toys they need. However, after choosing to do something or learn something, these items must be returned to their original places. Daily organization, summarizing, studying, and summarizing have strict rules in school. As for what they want to learn, there is a lot of freedom and choice given to the children.

The Significance of Electronic Devices and Calligraphy
We also discussed the current phenomenon where children especially like to use computers and tablets for learning, including playing electronic games. Teacher Meher recalled a conversation with Dr. Li Xin, saying that if a person often plays games and focuses on electronic devices for a long time, the upper part of the body (since the eyes are also located in the upper part) gets heated, which is a “yang rising” state. Using electronic devices requires mobilizing this yang energy to rise. After it rises, the yang energy leaves from the top of your head, which we commonly refer to as dissipating heat. Our body’s energy source is not inexhaustible. This actually mobilizes the essence and energy from the lower part of our body to supplement this rising yang energy. Therefore, many times, when you unconsciously use electronic devices, the yang energy is consumed. The essence is mobilized to the upper part of the body and then slowly leaves from the head. (So many children now have insufficient lower body energy, which leads to various acute and chronic rhinitis symptoms. This may be somewhat related to this topic.)

In the modern learning process, electronic devices are certainly needed. However, it’s also hoped that children can have more time for hands-on exploration and outdoor activities. Nowadays, traditional Chinese calligraphy practice has received less attention (many children in China now start learning English from a young age). Teacher Meher said that learning English words, including spelling and writing, is not as difficult as learning Chinese characters. It’s just 26 letters in different combinations. Chinese character writing and practice require higher demands on children. Why? Because each Chinese character is like a painting, from left to right, top to bottom, with so many strokes and combinations to remember. Learning Chinese characters itself is a simultaneous development and training process for both the left and right brain.

Teacher Meher once lived in Beijing for a while and studied calligraphy for four years with an old calligrapher who had a family tradition spanning 32 generations. She recalled that one day she had to write a twenty-character poem in front of her teacher. Even though she had practiced each character many times, standing in front of her teacher and writing the poem smoothly, she had to pay attention to whether each character was written neatly and beautifully, and at the same time, consider the relationship between the characters and how to present the twenty characters beautifully and harmoniously on the paper. This is not easy. She said that in such a continuous flow of writing, even a momentary lapse of focus could ruin a character, and the entire piece would be ruined. Writing is not just about writing; it is a training in collaboration, balance, and aesthetic understanding. Whether a character needs to be filled or left blank on the left or right side is directly related to the writer’s sense of aesthetics and spatial awareness.

In the learning process, she initially practiced writing horizontal and vertical lines (I suddenly laughed because it reminded me of my childhood calligraphy practice. My master also made me start with countless horizontal and vertical lines, and today I suddenly understand the deeper meaning). Teacher Meher said that as a woman, she was better at writing horizontal lines because it was a writing style of inclusiveness and feminine energy. She always found writing vertical lines slightly more challenging because it required decisive and clear strokes, which needed a strong metal energy. So you see, from the simplest horizontal and vertical lines, it actually involves a lot of inner principles.

Balance of Whole Body and Individual Development
We also talked about how both adults and children do not use the full functions of their bodies. The current era has developed more sensory and brain-related projects, such as the use of VR. If people no longer believe that the body is a whole, it is a pity. The holistic life experience can provide a lot of nourishment for our souls, and these increasingly brain-centric activities might narrow the life experience of our children. The world is so big, and life has vast dimensions. Learning is not just about writing; memorizing words; remembering formulas; or preparing for exams; nor is it just about skillfully using electronic devices, VR, or Chat GPT. These are just aspects of the whole. Learning needs to involve our entire body to experience and feel, fully expanding the life experience… (To be continued)

P.S. A very important correction from the last content: Teacher Claudine Merer’s Chinese name is not Meher (direct translation from the published books in China) but Mei Yun. After the last article was published and shown to the teacher, I learned that she always hoped people would use the Chinese name “Mei Yun” that she likes.

Written in early winter 2023 Dali, Yunnan